New Beginnings

So a couple of months ago i switched over to tumbr not because i don't like blogger but because blogger represents a different time in my life. From this point this blog (most likely) won't have any new posts unless i can connect the two. Either way im in a different stage and just like a book series this is but another book in my collection. If you would like to join me on my new adventures then trot on over to http://mrtylerjensen.tumblr.com/ where I'm proud to say I'm a different person. Not for better or for worse just am. I love you all

Mr. Jensen

A Dream within a Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow—
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream:
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand—
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep
While I weep—while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
- Edgar Allen Poe

Ignorance is bliss

Everyone I've ever talked to has always said it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, and i agree. But Day in and Day out i seem to doubt that truth. Whats done is done and i would never trade a second of it, however like anything you fall harder than you rise, gravity. I know im talking to myself, but thats how its been for the last 11 months.
For now
With great appreciation
Mr. Jensen

To whom ever I've ever hurt or blessed

To Whom ever can read this is my statement. I struggle every day with this conflict inside of me. The light and dark parts of me. The darkness wants to come out so badly as it once did, a sick and twisted enjoyment. But the light seems to prevail on most occasions. I've been happy but one, once that I can remember it lasted only briefly but I strive to get it back every day, some day. When walking in the street there are two shadows, one that precedes and one that succeeds. And i always try to be the one in front but it is always just out of reach. The one that follows is always there begging me back, just waiting for me to lie down and it to become one with me again. The brief moment where I stand beneath the light is where the shadows align and make me. This battle rages on to keep standing but ever once in a while I sit down, and become closer to what I try to run from. I know I am capable of great evil and destruction and make this my written apology to all. But to all whom I've met, it is you who keep me standing. Even if you are no longer in my life, i hope one day things can be fixed but the memory of you still keeps me going. And to all I may ever encounter I am sorry if I ever hurt you, it is not the me I try to be. No matter how much i run I will never never reach that next shadow so I will live my life in neutral grounds attempting to be the best person I can and patching up what I may have broken. I just want you to know that the war that rages, wages, in me is something most will not feel the extent of. I must keep my faith in God and my friends and hope that the street light does not go out or I will have become consumed in my shadow and my faith will be lost. If there is one thing I could wish for it would be to have my preceding shadow be not so out of reach. To all my friends I need you more than you can ever realize, and I love you more than I will ever tell you. This is my statement.

Tyler Jensen

Alone on Valentines day

Now I don't mind being single. At all. Though i do miss having someone there to talk to, or call. Someone to be intimate with ya know? Any ways i love the freedom of being single though as well. You feel like you can socialize better, or at least i do. But there is one thing that kinda got me down this hallmark holiday. It was the reminder of what it felt like to be in love. Not me personally but there were several girls, that I've been talking to about relationships and advice and what not for a little while now. But I'm also friends with the guys that are interested in them and visa versa. What got me down more or less was everyone talking about what they were doing, what they hoped would happen, what they should do, and everything like that. It just reminded me of everything i once felt. Its hard but i press on. I just hate getting caught in this middle where i wanna be with some one but i also wanna be single.

I just feel a little left out is all.

Dear Miss

I just wanted to ask if I left something very important somewhere, you see it means a great deal to me and I'm not quite sure what to do without it. I cannot seem to find it and I feel very empty without it. It's a mysterious thing though, it seems to excape you when you mean not to lose it, and you only seem to realize it's gone when you really want it back. The way I would describe it is an object of great density and seems to release gravity at the same time when you're near it. It is transparent but you know exactly when you see it and where it is. But the most common attribute about it though, is once you have it, it never leaves you, you always seemed controlled by it, emotionally. It is an object I take for granted all to often but would give anything to have it.
I am terribly sorry to bother you about this, I just really want to find it.
Sincerely with love
Me

Happyness in life

Well I figured since I'm on a red eye fligh to Michigan, and I haven't blogged in a while I might as well. Agh where doi start off? I have so much running through my mind, so much I've discovered, so much I've been reminded of this summer. 
Well one of the most fun things I've done this summer was go to the latest Offspring concer. It was titled Shit Is Fucked Up tour. And it was a great show much recomended. But it got me  thinking there are a lot of things pretty messed up with this country and world for that part. I've been constanty reminded of this with material such as: V for Vendetta, Charles Manson, Dark Knight, Working Class Hero, etc. Constant reminders that I shouldn't be happy and content with who or what I am. 
I am going to be embarking on a more liberal journey of my life and new idea and trends are going to be pressed onto me. And don't get me wrong I'm all for peace and love but I have to laught at the idea of pacifistism. To be a pacifist is undoubtly going to be taken over by something stronger and more intelligent. Humanity is incapeable of living peacefully. But this isn't something to be sad over, it's just the way it is. 
And there is another piece of bullshit the liberal America feeds us. Just the way it is or just how I am. It doesn't possiblely make any sence. it basically tells us that there is nothing we can do about it and to let it go which is the exact reason why everything is so messed up. We ground into our brains that we are just one person incapeable of doing anything. Which is why were sad because feel small and useless. 
I've observes through the media and most of my friends that we need things to make us happy. We need that puzzle piece family and that new phone  or car. Well I recently came across a quote that says "Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. Being happy means you've decided to se beyond the imperfections." And it reminded me that ya, there are some pretty messed up thing around, and ya they need some changeing but I can be happy despite all this. 
I love life And I'm ready for it's adventure. I won't let anything hold me back; it's all a matter of perspective and which side you decide to see it from. Life isn't simple and it never will be but happyness is.

A Series of Random, but Predetermined Events

So today I was thinking about life and the paths you must take. Recently a philosophy was brought to name. When I thought about this philosophy I realized that my thoughts were primarily centered around this thought process. It's called determinism and determinism is the philosophical proposition that every event, including human cognition and behavior, decision and action, is causally determined by an unbroken chain of prior occurrences. Basically I understand it as a few other theories that are tied into it.

The first concept it revolves around is essentially predestination. This is destiny and fate all tied into; destiny being where you end up, and fate being how you got there. I believe full heartily about this. Sure one reason may be my Christian belief system, but that’s not the reason as to why. The reason I believe in predestination is because nothing would be as it is today if such a thing as "chance" existed. Chance or coincidence leaves a sour taste on my tongue. It makes me feel as if there is no purpose to live and that all this is luck, or accidental. Again not because I believe in God but because I believe everything has a purpose in its existence, it’s built into us. It makes us feel compassion and hate. If we didn't have a sense of purpose built into us then we wouldn't feel compelled to become someone or something, and make a difference. It’s just the way we are.

It is not by chance that you are reading this, nor that you have stuck around to read this much either. So it means that you are curious as to my view point on the topic and after you finish this you will dwell on my concepts of though either deeming them ridiculous and shoving them off, or affirming them developing you own though about it. Either way I have made a difference in your life at this moment and whether it affects you now or later is what leads to my next point.

Everything is connected in some way by something either existent or non-existent. Chaos theory is built on this concept. Think of life as a dust bunny or hair ball. Each hair or particle has a length, some long and some short. This represents life. Now as your looking at the hair ball you can see that everything is connected; not directly of course but in some way or it wouldn't be a ball. It would fall apart. Now you, yourself, are one strand of hair. You can see that you bend in different ways, and that other hairs are touching you in different places, some running intertwined for an amount of time. This is how your life is. It has a starting and ending point, and different people come and go. As one person comes in your life it may cause a curve changing you and the direction you go. You may also notice that other people’s lives (hair) end on yours indicating that you were present at this time or shortly their after. In life this freaks people out. You may not know them but that is how you are connected, and most likely they stir a though process that causes you to think putting another curve or change in your life. It’s not an exotic concept it’s a realistic one and if you think about, you will agree.

This is my justification, how I have come to believe in determinism. And some of you may struggle with the thought that you are not in control that everything has been pre-laid out. Right? Well here is a contradicting thought process that I believe ties in as well. You see you really do have control, but it’s a complicated time-space continuum thing. By doing everything you have done, making every decision you have made is the reason as to why you are thee. It has placed the rocks underneath you feet and pulled the pickles off your sandwich, but without it you would be nothing; in simpler terms you can regret anything unless, key term, you are unhappy about everything that has happened after that point you regret. Without that "regret" happening you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't have the relationships with your friends, everything would be completely different.

And this my friends is called chaos theory. This is the theory that everything makes no sense until you see the end. At which point you will see that everything is connected, everything does relate, and everything had a purpose in your life, whether it affected yours specifically or someone else’s. You see its chaos theory that any of this would make sense. How can life be predetermined if we have free thought and free choice? How does me making a decision as minor as spitting my gum on the ground or placing a grammar error in a sentence change the course of someone else’s life? It’s completely mind boggling, and randomly secure. A series of random, but predetermined events has brought us here today, made you read this blog, and should make you comment. :) But in this mess of symbols and thought it can all be simplified to one word.

Music as a Motive

Its quite fascinating how music influences the mind. Recently i, for a change, have not been stuck in one type of music groove for a long period of time. I am usually the person who will listen to an artist or genre until i kill it. But recently I've been switching around quite a bit. I've been into, lately, techno, ska/reggae, and powerful classics deriving from the piano.

I really enjoy the techno when i'm either driving or with the right group of people. Its nerdy i know but its a fun music that just gets you all energetic. Granted some of the songs are cheesy but hey if they have a good beat why not.
Ska/reggae is also another one i like to listen to with friends, driving, or at home doing chores. This is music thats fun to dance to and also get me hyped up. I also enjoy the bluntness of most of the songs. They tell a story about something in life or an emotion we feel. It puts a brighter outlook on the dim.

Finally, the newest addition is this powerful classics via the piano addiction. Music similar to Debussy, and Chopin, and Beethoven. Just powerful emotional classics that move and sway the brain. Contracting thoughts only from deep within the cortex of your brain. It make me feel classy and inelegance with out the lack of either. One that comes to mind is Michael Montes who composed the short pieces called journey for a cannon commercial. Very powerful just wish it was a bit longer.

I love music, the emotions it makes you feel and how it controls you on the most sub conscience level. It can be an evil or a good all depending on the person and what their listen to. So why not listen to happy music, and broaden you spectrum of listening. Who knows you may find something new you like.

Not expecting the unexpected

Recienly I have become friends with a person i wouldn't have though of being friends with. It wasn't that I hated him it was just that were were always in competition. Constantly fighting and agueing of the most senceless crap. I also didn't trust him because I saw him as the person he portayed himself as and not ther person he way. Buy anyway i never really though about it. 

In the last 3 weeks though he has become one of my best friends ever, after we realized how much we had in common and how our colors really were. It goes to show that just when u think nothing will change life throws a curve ball. 

Growing Older and Standing Still

  My my my has it been a long time since I’ve had a chance to sit down and breathe. As I look back at the past year, I’m having trouble remembering everything that happened. Everything I participated in and accomplished. It’s quite remarkable how fast it went actually. I’ve noticed a trend, that when you get older, time seems to get progressively faster. I remember when I was a kid in elementary school, watching time just crawl by. It seemed like I had time to do just about anything. Then when I got to junior high, it seemed to go by a little faster but at least I saw change. 

  High School though has gone by extremely fast. Now that I think about it, I think it has to do with the mode of transportation at the time. In elementary school you start out with your feet. You progress to a scooter or skateboard, and eventually a bike. In junior high you might get your first 10 speed bike, but nothing change extremely. Then in high school you get your car. And you start out with your permit, driving periodically. But then you get your license and it’s like you have just floored life; each year pass faster than the previous.

   Anyway, this year has been my fastest year, ever. First semester of my senior year went faster than I could think and I have absolutely no idea how it happened. I’m sitting here thinking about every major thing that has happened in 2008 and I quite honestly astonished. I can't believe my first serious relationship has lasted almost a year and is as strong as ever. I won two first place awards at the state science fair last year in March. I got my first "F” as a grade ever (intentionally, though it’s a long story). I got a opportunity of a life time doing a paid internship at Biodesign in a lab I absolutely loved that took a two hour round-trip commute every day to. I continued to work as a lab tech at my school in August. I took my first real college course at MCC last semester. I have completed so many experiments, labs, and learned so much in the last year it utterly incomprehensible. And to end it i had one the best Christmas breaks ever. 

   I spent two weeks day and night, with my beautiful girlfriend. We spent week one in Az saw a few great movies and had a great time. Then week two we went back to her place in Co where we were knee deep in snow in 20 degree weather that I absolutely loved. Overall it was so relaxing and I enjoyed every minute of it. I was so relaxed that the second my head hit my pillow my returning night I layed wide awake for 2 hours contemplating and worrying about life and all the trouble I had left behind.

   The most important thing that I learned this past year was that no matter what happens, good or bad never regret it. First of all I’d be a waste of time for something you couldn't change. But more importantly, everything happens for a reason. It’s all a chain effect that would remove you from the universe if ever undone. And also that Love makes life so much more vibrant and beautiful; much more worth living.

Until next time... Keep on Truck n’

 

Paradise

Curious, isn't it? How beautiful and magnificent a castle can be, a place of protection, elegance, and power. A castle stands for everything we would like to be known for. But...that’s not the part of this image I want you to focus in on, nor to write this blog on.

The part of this image I want you to focus on is the leaves, and the perspective. It seems that in life we focus and strive for this paradise, Even if a castle isn't your forte substitute in your "paradise". Back to what I was saying; look at the leaves, the perspective. It’s looking from a distance. You can clearly see that they are not in the paradise they strive upon.

By this metaphor I mean to say as people we tend to keep working, keep striving for the better. And that’s not a bad thing but look at the extent. It becomes a bad thing when all you do, goal after goal is keep finding things that are better and not acknowledging how far you have come, and the beauty and paradise you live in. Reflect upon where you have come from, what you have accomplished. Sit back and take a deep breath. As my government teacher asks every day, "What are you, and what can you do?"
We reply, "I am a miracle, and I can do anything."

You get one life. Only one to make it count for something, and you are free to choose what that something is. Just make sure its something you want, something sincere, and do everything in you power and your will to achieve it. You are a miracle, by the very nature of God (or by chance if thats your cup of jo)

Until later.

Mr. Jensen

Four Letter Words Change the World

Four letter words, some of the smallest and taken for granted words in the English world. The whole world, for that matter, but they’re not four letter words in other languages. But ya, some of the most powerful words are the smallest and simplest words. They’re the most blunt and devastating as well. Let’s take a look at a one that is on my mind.

Love

    Love is the foundation of everything we know. It is something we are taught to do when we are little, and definitely something we take for granted. Dr. Sues said, "When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams." It is so true, for the last nine months I have been in love with my best friend, my clone, my girlfriend. These last few months have been some of the hardest in my life, and love has guided me through them.

    Don't get me wrong, it’s nothing something simple, or cheesy, my love, and love in general. It is something that can't be taken for granted, and something you feel is different from anything else. Kd is the person I want to, and will spend the rest of my life with, and no one can tell me different.

    I think the reason as to why our relationship works is because we started out as best friends. Of course it started as an infatuation but it progressed into something, and digressed into the best friendship of my life, and then progressed in the love i now have.

     It is so far beyond a high school relationship. Sure we have disputes that we have to work out. If you look at love metaphorically, it’s like a day. In the morning, you wake up all dazed and confused, and have no idea what’s going on or is going to happen, yet you still go with it. You don't give up at the first wrong thing, you push through. Your day can be going great or just horrible but when you lay your head down at night, everything feels right and connected. You watch the sun set into fire, as it seems, and there are two things you know are true; there is a God, and there is love.

KD Cox, is my world, that will never change.

If I had to choose between loving you, and breathing, I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU.

If I was a flower growing wild and free

All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.

And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen

All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If I was a flower growing wild and free

All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.

And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen

All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,

The rumble of your water would be my call.

If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow

Just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow.

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod

If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.

If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug

And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.

If you were the love, I'd be the desire.

If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,

And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride

Take me by the hand and stand by my side

All I want is you, will you stay with me?

Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

Barry Louis Polisar - All I Want Is You

377,000,000

377,000,000 is the quantity of results for purpose on Google’s search engine and 6.684 billion human beings are looking for it. We thrive off the fact that somehow, some way we are needed. Those who live inside will come across no purpose, for the only thing beyond them is earth, and God, and neither of them necessitate you. So the other option is existing for others, humility if you will. I guarantee you; those who advocate, and facilitate other people find purpose. People in the armed forces that battle for the privileges of others, prepared to lay down their lives for their kin of nation. The missionaries that demonstrate their faith and good will, not through preaching on a soap-box, but philanthropic abet absent from home; away from their family and comfort. All other non-profit aid groups that set out out and jeopardize their well-being for others, like the Peace Corps. It is these people that die with resolve that their entire life wasn’t a waste, that they administered worthwhile actions and their mark has been contrived. Nick Vujicic said, “If you put your happiness into temporary things, then your happiness will be temporary” and he was entirely accurate. Endow your life in sententious actions and not palpable prosperity. Earthly possessions will not even pass through your psyche on your death bed I assure, but those you debilitated or assisted will. Find yours!

Small Things

Well i've just finished up on reading a bunch of blogs of my friends, just catching up on periodicals i guess. But there seems to be a somewhat of a common theme that I contract out of them; that America has problems. That we get so caught up in our culture and take so much for granted that when we actually see everything that we have and that we are all we can still do is complain about it. It honestly bugs me, and for a while i would try and justify it by saying you have to look at the culture. What we have in comparision of our peers and do the same for them. And i still agree with me but thats not the only way to look at it.

I say since life is 3D you have to see it from more than one aspect, essentially put yourself in everyone's shoes and then make your judgement. So when i look at american culture i don't find it discusting that we eat more than we need, and buy more than we want. I find it unnessary but it is our culture. And we make the culture. So in order for you to complain about how excessive american are you have to live at the same level as the poverse. And most are not willing to do that.

But there is a gray area. You see you can't complain but you can help. Donating time, money, etc to differnt causes that you are pulled to does help. And that makes me think of another thing, somewhat about foreign policy. I really don't believe that we can help other people in the world until we've helpeed our own kind. In other words we can't take pitty for the starving african, and not for our local homeless. Honestly, i do my part in helping home and away. I don't complain, though i do remark, and most of all you can't force someone, or compell them to do anything, espically with our rebelous nature. Lead by example.

The Dark Knight

What am amazing movie. By far on of my favorites, tied with V for Vendetta. But what an amazing job of the joker played by Heath ledger. I had no idea it was going to be that creepy and under your skin. But lets talk about him for a moment, as the movie pretty much focused on him. The joker's criminal mentality was described as, some men just want to watch the world burn. And for the most part that is true. But i think he had more of a different motive. Watching the movie i saw a more common theme of showing the corruption of man. How no one man is perfect, except he failed with batman. He took every good person in Gotham and tore them down to his level. First he brought the criminal lower, then law enforcement, then Harvey dent, and finally the people themselves with the hospital incident. He was almost the only person you could trust to keep his word, and that kinda sad statement.

Another way he was described was, i'm like a dog chasing a car, i have no idea what to do when i catch it. I just go. And at first i believed it. It believed that he just went with the flow and never had a plan. But then i saw it, he did have a plan but it was clouded in chaos theory. Meaning you think everything he did was random and unplanned until you go back to the beginning you can see all the dots connect. He saw his goal, and had a rough idea of what he was going to do and like any plan made changes as it was executed but the end result was to make citizens of Gotham realize they were all scum.

Now looking at the movie, there were alot of politics in it, and for now i don't really feel like spending a year and a have talking about all of it lol, but the most major theme was trust. But as i close here i wanted to mention the closing quote, “Because Batman’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now…and so we’ll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector…a Dark Knight.”

Time sure Flies

Well i can't believe it but this summer is alreay over, less then a month left. And, one of my favorite movie quotes poppped into my head, "When you get to the end you start thinking about the beggining", Mr & Mrs Smith. But is really true, and when you start thinking about the begging of one event that ties into the end of another even which get you to start thinking about more beggingings. So i was thinking about the begginging of the summer, with the internship, which got me thinking about my grandmother's death which got me thinking about their marrige, which got me to think about me and Kd which circled around the the even that happened yesterday.

A long chain i know but ya. So me and kd have been dating for over 6 months now, which is pretty long in the high school scene and with all my heart i know she is the one. Well anyway yesterday i get a call saying her mom accepted a job offer in Colorado. And at first i was really taken back and really didn't know what to do but then i realized. If we are meant to be with each other, and really love each other, then we have the rest of our lives. What is one extra year, because she is going to go to college in Colorado. Of course i will miss her, alot, i just want what situation is best. So anyway as of this moment she doesn't know what the end result is going to be, and that is my update.

Ya know what, lets all just stand around and watch

Well hey there, if you ready my last blog then your set to go. But in my last blog I was talking about how much people don't care anymore, and most likely they'll leave you for dead. Well I have a couple of new stories for ya here.

So I was watching national news and there were a few stories that caught my eye. Its kind of strange, almost like it was some kind of theme to the morning because they were all similar they the stories varied from both ends.

Well lets start with the bad new first. Ok so here is the setting, the scene if you will; New York Mental emergency waiting room. There is a woman there that doesn�t seem quite alright and she had been waiting there for almost 24 hours. At about 530 in the morning she falls to the floor. There are two other people in the room with here and they do nothing. Later a guard checks on the room, he sees the lady on the floor, and does again nothing. About 30 min later, another guard, exact same thing. About 630 a doctor looks in the room, sees the woman, and again does nothing. And then finally about 10 min later a nurse goes in the room, kicks her to she if she is awake and calls for a gurney. Now let me say that no the surveillance tape she doesn�t look too concerned at all, its more of a task for her than a duty.

She is pronounced dead on the scene. Now this is freaking NEW YORK!!! Not some 3rd world country. I couldn�t believe my eyes. Again in the news, a similar story; a man calls 911 for his friend, or wife or something because the hospital they are at won�t care for them. Its really urgent and they request an ambulance to another hospital. 911 won�t give it to them and big shocker, she is dead today.

Two more similar stories, a man is hit in a hit n� run. Now it appeared that he was jaywalking but nonetheless he was hit. His hits the grounds and lays there. In the middle of the street, cars go around him, as well as pedestrians just walk by. There were a few that stopped and stared for a while maybe took a pic with their cell phone and moved on. WTF he wasn�t some statue, or monument, he was a HUMAN BEING, and no one did anything. Later someone did call 911 and idk his condition

And yet another similar story some of you may remember. This one is way worse in my opinion than the previous but let you make up your own mind. Almost same story, elderly man gets hit on a hit and run, idk if it was a bike for a car but whatever it was it took him down. He was on his way back from the grocery store. While laying there, other than people just walking by, like most did some TOOK HIS GROCERIES. How do you have the such a cold heart as to rob an old man while he is injured laying there.

Now also in the news was a girl that got mauled by a bear and she is ok after another hiker helped her out. As well as a clip and run with a cop in which a 17 year-old being arrested helped the DPS officer and he is ok too. But no one really cares about those do they. See at first I had some hope for America, maybe the news is broadcasting this terrible news to convict Americans to do something. Right? No! The only thing that I have found is the reason we have these stories broadcasted is to compare ourselves to another person, make us feel better. Sick isn�t it because even if most see these stories they will most likely do the exact same.

Well that�s just what�s on my mind right now and I�m getting off the bus soon. So until next time do something.

Life as of mid 2008

Ya know, i always feel like doing one of these every so often, ya know usually after thinking a lot. My last big one was a year in reflection and it was... good. i was kinda peeved about the digression of our society, and still am.


Just to get it out there and off my chest and out of the way here is my problem with people now. People don't care. It interesting how the minority changes everything, usually for the worse. See here is where i'm getting at. There is a small population that think that, say after someone has saved their life, they have the right to sue. For example, i see it quite often; a man chokes on, let say a piece of steak. Well someone performs the Heimlich on him and now he is alive. but the catch is he has three broken ribs, as it is almost necessary for the maneuver to be preformed properly. Well the guys sues, and lets say in this case he wins.


Well this means a couple of things. One now that he one people think they can win and will sue cause of greed. Two, this small amount of people that sue influence us. Us the people, the witnesses, the helpers. You see now we are not instinctive to save someones life because we think about the consequences, and sad that there are some. What goes through your mind is first do i save the guy, Second if i save him what are the consequences,if he sues me i'm now inconvenienced with court, and if he wins I'm screwed. Third, if you deny someone aid you can be fined or charged by the government. This is why people don't care. This is also the case for people that don't stick around in car accidents and other such ocurances.


Its truly a sad day when we have to think about helping people, and not because it could inconvenience us in time. That is shallow, but when we have to think, "If i save this person's life it could ruin mine. If he sues me and wins i won't be able to support my family. i'll lose my job, etc." Their horrible thoughts but so true.


This is the great America. I truly wonder why we stick our nose in other people's business (policing the world) when we have more than enough problems of our own. Some may say its selfless. Well lets analyze that. If its selfless then as a whole we must think the same. Well thats not true so there is only one other reason. To get the spotlight off our home, our country. You see we think its so bad here were embarrassed so we try and make up for it with charity. i think we need to work on our home life. See there is a quote that comes to mind, that fits. People who do not love themselves can adore others, because adoration is making someone else big and ourselves small. They can desire others, because desire comes out of a sense of inner incompleteness, which demands to be filled. But they can not love others, because love is an affirmation of the living growing being in all of us. If you don't have it, you can't give it.-Andrew Matthews


I think this applies to us as a country. If we have to think about saving someone then we do not love them, but its all fine to go help the Africans. There in a worse situation. And thats another thing that bugs me, we think cause we have more money or stuff that were better off. Thats not true! People concentrate on the details of the problem and not the big picture. For example, to bring up the Africans again. We need to help all the people that are dieing from the wars, and the children that have been orphaned. Here is the thing we need to help them, but we can't help them until we have helped ourselves. This falls back onto a country standpoint. There are plenty of orphans here that are just as poor and hungry that often go to 18 with out proper parents. And the people dieing in the wars, what about the people here that are getting killed in gang violence. Is that not a war in and of it's self?


This country is growing into a state of rand acts of violence. No cares who you are, or where your from anymore. Just that your in there way and they will do anything to get you to move. Here's the thing our kids arn't being taught. Live is unfair and its though. It'll kick you in the nuts many times but thats no reason to give up. We baby our kids too much to the point that they can't handle the real world. They break down and die inside. Parents need to learn tough love, and it was often a thing my generations parents got. A belt never killed anyone, nor a couple of lashes.


I don't know i feel like I'm speaking to a computer, a wall if you will. I feel like you think I'm just a kid, i can't know anything about life. How hard it is and can be. And your probably right, i haven't been down that road personally. But i sure have talked to a lot of people, been frustrated with a lot of situations, and seen it like a move. It honestly makes me mad. Just everything, everything i see how we have digressed into a bunch of apes. Where did honor go, giving your word. Did it just get lost in time. or did a select few show us a world without it, cause folks here it is.


God Bless America. What an interesting saying. I have to chuckle to myself every time i hear it. You know why? cause you have it all wrong. Sure he gave us this place, and he F'ed it up, royally. I want a bumper sticker that says God save America, Please. cause that is what we need to pray. But in all this madness i find light.


This is what i truly want to talk about; now that thats off my chest. Love. What a curious thing it is. It causes us so much pain and so much happiness. This is one thing i do know. Call me crazy, cause your probably right but i love Kd. I truly do, its not an infatuation but an honest to God love. Most think i have no idea the weird pain i feel when she is out of town. The pain of worry. Its the though that you have no control, no way to protect her or do anything. It horrible and i feel it. I also know the joy of having here with me, and i know she is safe.


I'm honestly scared crap less. Why? cause the divorce rate in America is like some 70 of percent. What the heck it that. Every friends i have, every person i personally know has/had been divorced or had a direct blood connection to divorce. This is crap, and an issue for another time.


I just wanna finish off with I'm not naive, heck I'll go as far to make the cocky statement of I'm smarter, when i comes to life, than many adults. I'll be the first to tell you i sure as heck don't have everything figured out but i sure do know a lot for my age. I know love, hate, confidence, fear, strength, weakness, near and far. I wanna finish of with, i love you. I may not show it well cause most of the time, I'll be honest, I'm a jerk. But its true.


I love Kd. This Is my future. I trust her in everything, but most of all i love her. I don't know what i would do if she were to ever go away, and she is defiantly the one/the most important person in my life.


And that all i have to say about that, for now at least. :)

A Year in Reflection

It seems this past year, one of great maturity and experiences
Has brought insight for the future

It is has told me what will happen based on the observations of day to day life

And I have come to a conclusion

That as day by day the hours pass forget nothing or all will be lost

Time will be swept from up under you feet and before you know it

There will be none left to live

As I get older it causes my heart rate to increase to a level

In which every little detail is a blur

Events have happened that I cannot recall

And I am left with the Alzheimer's I do not have

For this conclusion would be wise for all to hear

But most will see it as a blur and for them

The end is near

This nation moves at a rate incomprehensible to man

Until he see's it for himself

I did not know it as a boy, the expression "time flies"

This is not true, for time cannot fly but your mind can

It can lose track of all its doing and forget the good things in life

Until one day a sniff from a rose will be looked over

As that rose dies in his hand

Half a centenaries worth of technology, in number

Far exceeds the millennia of inventions in past

It has consumed us like a great beast

And we have made no observation that we are rotting inside

This is our death

It's funny for if you do not keep up you are left a blur

Forever forgotten, except in pictures

But even those betray us, as they too disintegrate with time

In the world of today the only way is be remembered to do something horrible

Or be president of course

It's funny isn't it, that we can only recall the bad things

Or the things that do not matter

In 50 years when we recall 9/11 the entire nation will be able to tell you

The leader and group responsible for this tragic day

But I guarantee the new populace cannot name the leader of the country at the time

Unless of course he make his mark on history in the same manor

I recall an event of an officer and his K9 being killed

I have to ask what is wrong when more people remember

The name of the dog and not the officer

The damned dog had no family that wept for him

Nor Friends he left behind

This is the tragedy I leave behind

I cannot bear to live in a society that will remember my K9 and not me

Did the dog save a life, did he discover anything intelligent

Or did he lick his butt all day

This is what anger's me and frightens me

This is my unmarked grave

We are all arrogant Hippocrates that cannot keep a story straight

We flip flop more than a patty and would sell

Our own mothers for the right price

I hope that this will not be a blur

That day by day you look back and see nothing

And look forward for change

The digression of our society will be our downfall

As we cannot stand for what we believe in

You say YES I CAN!

From behind a back lit computer screen

Or the middle of a mob

Muslims are the last to die for the cause they believe in

EVEN if they are the last!

You may have become angered and want to cut the head off the snake

But the head of the snake is YOU and

If you want change, you have to do it your self

ALONE!!!